doorman
7 days ago | 1 
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Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. — William Dement I have this recurring dream where I’m hardly wearing any clothing and for s...
21 days ago | 0 | 2 |
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Sometimes I fantasize about being hired by British Petroleum to help defend against the hippies, freaks and oil-slicked loon scrubbing chiba monkeys to provide a bit of support for a little company...
1 month ago | 0 | 2 |
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As I awoke this morning to my daughter’s siren serenade of “Dadaaaa,” my tired smile turned to horror as I caught a whiff of what I thought had been month-old roadkill. Alas, it was not. With m...
1 month ago | 0 | 4 |
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As June peeks its gloomy head around the clouds and begins the blistering pace toward the August finale, I wanted to discuss a sport that is severely lacking national attention. Or any attention ...
2 months ago | 0 | 7 |
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So apparently the apocalypse is upon us. We have about two years to get our collective crap together and immerse ourselves in biblical prophecies, rumors and legends and brace for the frightening...
3 months ago | 0 | 6 |
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Target and Costco. The yin and yang of commercial success. One caters to those in love with shiny little knickknacks and dorm furniture, while the other does well with those stocking the pantry for...
3 months ago | 1 | 9 |
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Let’s toast those ghosts! (Trademark pending, all rights reserved.) I decided to take matters into my own hands recently in an effort to protect the timid and terrified from the ghastly beasts tha...
17 months ago | 1 | 24 |
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American music is dying a withering, morose death. The last bastion for rebellious, obnoxious lyrics and bombastic thundering tunes is on life support, maintaining a mostly vegetative state, barely...
3 months ago | 0 | 4 |
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We’ve all had one of those nights that started innocuously enough, just intending to have a few measly cocktails and chatter about topics of little consequence like sports or current travel. A Coor...
4 months ago | 1 | 3 |
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Since the only thing I even minutely enjoy about the Oscars is that it shares its name with tasty golden bread sticks, I thought I’d wax pathetic about the asinine, glad-handing, back-slapping “awa...
4 months ago | 4 | 6 |
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I saw this posting on a Web site about the bar I work at and remembered the situation immediately. So I felt compelled to respond to this particular patron, Mr. Crybaby Waa Waa. “I was very disapp...
5 months ago | 0 | 4 |
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I’ve made my feelings abundantly clear about the most vile, smooshiest, downright saddest holiday known to man — Valentine’s Day. I’m starting a new slogan: VD is BS. Well, that might need some...
5 months ago | 0 | 6 |
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Personal responsibility has become a languid punch line in a string of jokes that aren’t even funny anymore. You can’t read the news lately without a blurb about someone suing a company, person, o...
6 months ago | 0 | 6 |
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Dear Widowed Wife of a Really Rich Relative Who Planned Rather Poorly for His Untimely Demise, Hello Ngobe! How are you? Oh right. Dead husband. So, probably not great. Moving on ... Thank you f...
6 months ago | 1 | 8 |
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New Year’s resolutions are a waste of time that only result in a less than 4 percent success rate (I made that up) and serve only to assuage the wishful into thinking that all will be forgiven and ...
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